Recent life events have enveloped me in unspeakable pain. A sharp pain throughout my soul. There are days when I just don’t think I can carry on normally. I slouch off to work, barely willing or able to talk to customers all day. Music, art — everything — has lost its savor. Everything reminds me of the pain. At times, it feels too much to bear. I just want to shrivel up and die. It’s real. It can’t be denied. What to do…
 Relenquish. Surrender. Give up control. Pray. Thank the Creator and Knower of the Universe. Easily said. Desperately hard to live out.
Henriet Schapelhouman, a mentor of mine (and fellow blogger), reminded me recently that we usually need to pray when we least feel like we are able to pray. We ask for the relief, the hope, the Divine Escape, all the while feeling that nothing good will come out of God’s unending love for us. We pray it now. And feel it later. And the word “feel” is such a shallow way to put it.ÂÂ
So then, I have embarked on this path of escaping the pain, into God’s divine relief, as only He can provide it. It’s a bumpy ride, but I am hearing God in it. He is actually speaking to me, as His beloved Son, and letting me know that He is there shouldering my pain. He after all, has endured it for all of us.
“I’ll convert their weeping into laughter,ÂÂ
lavishing comfort, invading their grief with joy.”
Jeremiah 61:13 – The Message
alex,
just prayed for you. love that verse.
Thanks IMN. Blessings to you for the prayer. I appreciate it deeply.
Alex,
When people say, “I know just how you feel” I generally regard those statements with suspician…but I want to tell you that you are not alone in the sentiments you have expressed here. I think that one of the most pivitol prayers I ever prayed was to tell God that I was angry at Him, during a period of intense despair and pain. … that prayer was the first step back into conversation with my Creator after years of silent rage on my part. I’ve come a long way (toward God) since then…there is still pain because there is still Life. But now I am not angry with God for that…Instead He is the only one who can really say to me, “I know just how you feel,” and that brings me great comfort.
Please feel free to visit my blog (www.lunamosity.wordpress.com) to read a little more of my story.
I’ll be praying for you as well.
praying and exercise. we never want to exercise when we’re depressed, but it can be one of the greatest cures, at it naturally releases endorphins.
you can get through this, i know it.