Morning after morning
Day after day
Life goes on
In the same old way
No variation
Or so it seems
Sometimes we realize
Our nightmares
Not our dreamsÂÂ
From Ping Pong Over The Abyss – The 77s
So there I was, sitting in a local Mexican restaraunt in Lynnwood, WA, eating my enchilada platter, alone, on my 1/2 hour lunch break. And I wondered, what am I doing here?!?!
First off, I am working a closing shift in a retail environment. Punching a clock. Wearing a uniform. Inhaling my lunch in 30 minutes. I haven’t done this since I was 16. I have no life, with four closing shifts a week, ending at 9pm.ÂÂ
 Secondly, I am alone. No meals with others, since I am gone most nights of the week working. No more scrumptious meals prepared with my ex-girlfriend. No more community around the breaking of bread.  I sit amidst anonymous souls that stare blankly, their thoughts of futility festering in their minds as they eat.
Finally, what the heck am I doing in Lynnwood? For many years, I avoided going to Lynnwood at all costs. I do not like it there. Commercial strips. Excruciating traffic. Consumer zombies running about everywhere. Blecchhh! Not my idea of a place to hang out.
 But here I am.ÂÂ
“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me…” ÂÂ
Psalm 50:23
Ouch! So then, my counselor socks me upside the head with this scripture. Being thankful for this current season in my life is a sacrifice. In fact, I can hardly bring myself to even a wisp of gratitude at times. Therein lies the sacrifice.  It’s one that I don’t want to make.  So I struggle to get myself to even say “Thanks” for my current state in life. It ain’t easy.
You, dear reader, are on this journey with me, so I will live out my sacrifice of thanksgiving, even now.
God, thanks for Lynnwood. Thanks for a job that pays me (but drains my soul). Thanks for people that remind me that I have to exercise extreme grace (and only you can originate that in my feeble soul). Thanks for meals alone, without interaction (for maybe I could think of talking to You a bit, even as I chew). Thanks for your grace to me during this difficult time.
Even writing that was hard, but my heart feels grateful.  God always comes through. I am beginning to recognize Him more and more. More on that later…ÂÂ
Great post. Thanksgiving is sometimes a sacrifice, isn’t it. Especially when we don’t feel like it or fell thankful. Your post reminds me of a song we used to sing when I was young. One of the phrases said, “Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your many blessings see what God has done.” Thanksgiving helps us appreciate what we do have and not fret over what we don’t have.
God Bless you real good.
Ken